Nolan Arenado, Baseball's Last Boy Scout

All hail Nolan Arenado, the St. Louis Cardinals' beacon of virtue in a league drowning in its own sins. Here's a guy who's basically playing checkers in a chess game, and somehow thinks he's winning.

So, Nolan blocked a trade to the Astros because he couldn't stand playing with cheaters? That's rich. In a sport where even the umpires sometimes need glasses to see the strikes, Arenado's the one drawing the line at trash cans. Bravo, Nolan, bravo.

And let's talk about his beef with Freddie Freeman and Gerrit Cole. Apparently, if you're not playing by Arenado's rulebook, you're in the wrong. Freddie hits a grand slam in the World Finals, and suddenly, it's the crime of the century. Gerrit uses a bit of tacky substance? Oh, the humanity!

Arenado's so pure, he makes the Dalai Lama look like a used car salesman. "I don't cheat," he says, "Which is why I haven't won anything." Oh, cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it, Nolan. In a world where everyone's looking for an edge, he's out here playing with the moral high ground as his only teammate.

Meanwhile, his former team, the Rockies, are probably the only ones clapping for him, and that's because they've got nothing better to do in the win column. Arenado's career is like watching someone bring a knife to a gunfight and then complain about the lack of honor in getting shot.

So here's to Nolan Arenado, the last of the Mohicans in a sport where even the bases are probably juiced. He's out there, not just playing the game, but playing it on hard mode, with blinders on, refusing to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, everyone else is playing a different game altogether.

In an era where even the hot dogs at the stadium are suspect (except the ones with extra ketchup), Arenado's quest for purity in baseball is either the most noble or the most naive endeavor in sports history. Either way, it's a spectacle. Keep fighting the good fight, Nolan, because in the grand scheme of things, your moral victory is just as invisible as those World Finals rings you're not collecting.