Jurickson Profar Joins Braves, Declares War on Mookie Betts' Hairline

In a move that's got the MLB world chuckling, Jurickson Profar has signed with the Atlanta Braves and immediately took a swipe at Dodgers' right fielder Mookie Betts, whom he famously turned into a meme by robbing him of a homer last year in the NLDS. "Can't defer robbing homers from that balding guy who plays right field in LA. Chop on," Profar quipped, clearly not over Betts' receding hairline.

The primary reason Profar signed with the Braves? To continue his personal vendetta against Betts' home runs, of course. "Robbing Mookie of clutch homers in key moments was the #1 reason I chose to sign with the Braves," Profar said with a smirk. With Spencer Strider and Ronald Acuña Jr. returning to action in 2025, the Braves are ready for a deep playoff run, with Profar as their secret weapon against LA.

The Braves' clubhouse is buzzing with laughter and anticipation. Captain Marc Olsen, barely containing his excitement, said, "Freddie never robbed Mookie of a home run!" Ozzie Albies added, "I've never seen someone so dedicated to ruining one guy's day. Welcome to the family, Jurickson!"

Over in LA, Mookie Betts, scratching his head (or what's left of it), responded with confusion, "I thought we were cool, man. Why's he still on about me? I guess my hairline's just that unforgettable."

As for the Braves' next move, who knows? GM Alex Anthopoulos was last seen taking a power nap, dreaming of more acquisitions. Meanwhile, fans are already designing "Profar vs. Betts" memes, eagerly awaiting the next chapter in this comedic rivalry.