Jeff Passan, the well-known MLB reporter for ESPN, was spotted making a rather unconventional Christmas wish to Santa Claus. The image captures Passan handing Santa a neatly wrapped box, presumably containing his Christmas list. However, sources close to the North Pole reveal that Passan's request left Santa more than a little bemused.
It turns out, Passan's Christmas wish this year was for a bigger box to stand on during his television appearances. For those unfamiliar, Passan, who is also the father of the X user @mlbonfax, has been known to use a box to elevate himself on camera, a necessity he humorously attributes to his stature. But asking Santa for broadcasting equipment? That's a new level of holiday spirit.
According to an elf who preferred to remain anonymous, "Santa was quite annoyed. He's a big fan of MLB, but he watches MLB Network, not ESPN. He had no idea who Jeff Passan was." The confusion was compounded when Passan, in his enthusiasm, took an inordinate amount of time explaining his need for a taller box, causing a line of children to wait impatiently, some even shedding tears.
The scene was described as chaotic, with children's cries mixing with Passan's detailed explanation of television production logistics. "He went on about camera angles and visibility, and Santa just kept looking at his watch," the elf recounted. "It was like watching someone explain quantum physics to a cat."
Adding a personal twist to this festive tale, it's been noted that Passan has reportedly shunned his family on Christmas for the last two years, a decision that has not sat well with many, including @mlbonfax, who expressed disappointment over his father's absence during the holidays. "It's deplorable," they commented, "to choose a box over family time."
While Jeff Passan's request for a bigger box might be the most unique gift on Santa's list this year, it's clear that his holiday priorities might need some reevaluation. Perhaps next year, he'll wish for something a bit more traditional, like world peace or maybe just a good old-fashioned baseball bat. Until then, here's hoping Santa finds it in his heart to fulfill this peculiar request, if only to spare the children of the world another tearful Christmas queue.
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