Hawk Tuah Teaches Corbin Burnes How to Disappear

In an unexpected twist that has left the baseball world scratching its collective head, Corbin Burnes, the once-celebrated pitcher now mysteriously absent from the news, has been spotted with none other than Hawk Tuah, the internet's latest sensation known more for her meme coin scandals than any discernible talent.

Let's get one thing straight: Hawk Tuah's fifteen minutes of fame were up before they even started. Her claim to fame? A viral video that, quite frankly, showcased nothing but her ability to make a sound that's now become the punchline of every joke at the water cooler. But here's where it gets juicy – she's also a New York Mest fan, arguably the most insufferable kind of baseball fan there is, known for their unwavering loyalty to a team that's as consistent as a coin flip.

Now, imagine this: Corbin Burnes, a pitcher with an arm like a cannon and a future that was as bright as the Orioles, decides to take a sabbatical from the game. Why? Because he's been hanging out with Hawk Tuah, who apparently has been teaching him "how to disappear."

The image above, which has been circulating faster than a hot dog with extra ketchup at a Domed ballpark, shows them in what looks like a dugout or some baseball-themed hideout, with Hawk Tuah holding a bag of what appears to be silver dollars. Perhaps a metaphor for her meme coin misadventures or just a quirky photo op?

But here's the kicker – Burnes is still unsigned. Could it be that his association with someone as notorious and talentless as Hawk Tuah has teams second-guessing his worth? It's a sad day when a player of Burnes' caliber might be overlooked because he's seen with someone who's famous for all the wrong reasons.

So, what's next for Burnes? Will he return to the mound, or has Hawk Tuah's influence led him down a path where he'll be as remembered as her fleeting internet fame? Only time will tell, but one thing's for sure: in the world of baseball, where talent and reputation are everything, associating with the likes of Hawk Tuah might just be the curveball no one saw coming.