BREAKING: Two-Way Star Eric Sim Traded to Pirates in Blockbuster Deal

In a move that's got the baseball world buzzing, internet sensation and two-way star Eric Sim, known as the "King of Juco," has been traded from the Seattle Mariners to the Pittsburgh Pirates. The trade package? A jar of pickles, half a loaf of bread, and promising third baseman Ke'Bryan Hayes, according to multiple sources.

This unexpected trade comes less than a month after Sim inked a 1-year, $4.2 million deal with the Mariners, raising eyebrows across the legion. Sources close to the Mariners' clubhouse suggest that tensions were high, particularly in the team's group chat. Sim's hyper-confident, cocky persona reportedly didn't mesh well with some teammates. Notably, Cal Raleigh and Julio Rodriguez had public spats with Sim via text, questioning his performance in social media videos and challenging his legitimacy as a two-way player.

Eric Sim lasted just 20 days with the Mariners.

"Those chumps can't take greatness," Sim remarked about his brief stint in Seattle. "I'm looking forward to playing with some real winners now, the motherf*cking Pittsburgh Pirates. Skenes and Livvy throw gas, Cruz hits tanks, and I'm here to do both."

With Sim now joining forces with Paul Skenes and Livvy Dunne in the Pirates' rotation, Pittsburgh boasts what might be the top pitching rotation in MLB, only rivaled by the vaunted North Japan Samurai. This addition is expected to significantly boost the Pirates' competitiveness. Sim was last seen working out his arm with the Mariners:

Here's a prediction for Sim's 2025 Season with the PIrates, per Statfax:

• Pitching: Sim is projected to pitch 180 innings with an impressive 3.20 ERA, striking out 200 batters. His unique pitching style, combined with the coaching in Pittsburgh, should refine his already formidable skills.

• Hitting: At the plate, Sim is expected to hit .280 with 25 home runs and 80 RBIs, utilizing his power from both sides of the plate. His presence in the lineup will force pitchers to rethink their strategies, unless they want tanks launched off 'em.

As for the Pirates' standing, with this powerhouse rotation and Sim's dual-threat capabilities, they are poised to finish at the top of their division, potentially clinching the NL Central title. Stay tuned, folks! The Pirates might just be the dark horse we didn't see coming.